Charlow Eliana’s Birth
My Wild & Free Family Birth
Charlow’s conception occurred after few years of being open to our next baby and 2 early births. We were nearing the Summer Solstice where I live & I was having two parallel experiences. I was reckoning with the possibility that I would not carry and birth another living baby and my deep, deep desire to have another child I was energetically calling in the daughter that I felt was near.
I remember the week before the summer solstice standing in the cool night air gazing up to the cosmos asking Universe/Spirit/Mother Earth to bring my daughter to me.
A few weeks later my blood did not come in its regular rhythm & I held great hope that I was holding new life in my womb, my daughter.
I held the knowing that this wombling may not live to term or through birth & at the same time hoped and prayed with my whole being that she would.
Charlow’s pregnancy was my toughest with hyperemesis gravidum aka extreme nausea and vomiting. I am talking vomiting multiple times a day every day for months on end, sometimes so bad for days and weeks that I needed IV fluids to stay hydrated. People kept saying it would end in the 2nd trimester, it didn’t, then the 3rd and it didn’t. The vomiting did decrease into my 30+ weeks of pregnancy but the nausea never left me. Around 35 weeks the daily vomiting faded and I no longer started every day heaving into the toilet, only some days, and for that I was certainly grateful.
In my last weeks of pregnancy I had Braxton Hicks/ practice contractions daily, sometime as frequently as every 5-7 minutes for hours on end, which left me wondering if I would “know” when her labor actually began.
From about 38 weeks on I found myself waking each morning wondering and asking her, caressing my womb, is today your Birthday? But days continued to pass by. My “due date” came and went. I continued to get bigger, more uncomfortable and also, surprisingly more patient for her arrival than I had felt at 37 weeks.
The Friday before Charlow’s birth I had contractions regularly that were mild to moderate for hours into the night until they slowly disappeared around 3 AM. It was this night that Clementine first came over and started capturing video footage. We hadn’t seen each other in many months & it was completely lovely to get to hug her, reconnect and be in her gentle presence. (Some of the footage from the birth video is from this day as well as the next)
At 41 weeks and 1 day I awoke around 2 am with fairly intense contractions that were difficult to stay lying through. After having 3 in a row I decided to go out into the living room and see if they continued. In an upright position they only became stronger and more intense. I tried many different positions, attempting to get a handle on the pain and find a way to cope, but the pain only increased. I asked baby girl and my body to slow down and be gentle, but alas by the end of the hour the contractions had me crying out on pain and wanting some support. (I never timed the length of contractions or time between them)
A little after 3 I decided to wake up Owyn in between contractions. I did my best to gently wake him. He awoke easily and was surprised when he heard how challenging each contraction was for me. He held me, stayed present and supported me in a way only he could.
In between contractions we talked about how it felt like labor was going quickly. I think I was a bit in denial, still not believing that I was progressing fast but Owyn seemed to recognize that our daughter would be earthiside soon. We discussed whether or not we should still have our friends come to photograph and videotape her birth with COVID 19 just ramping up. (this is something I had wanted with my previous 2 births but hadn’t had) We decided to call each of them and check in to see how they felt and if it felt right intuitively to them as we were both feeling open and I had envisioned them both at the birth for many months. Rickanna and Clementine were both feeling confident about coming to her birth and so they each arrived around 4 AM first Clementine & then Rickanna
By this time Owyn had laid the paint cloth on our living room floor where I had envisioned giving birth. I had a birth altar set up in this space, photos of my Mother and both my Grandmothers. We sat together there in front of a mirror where even with Owyn behind me I could look forward into the mirror and into his eyes which was immensely helpful.
As the contractions continued to build I continued to ask my body and baby to be gentle, but none of the contractions were gentle and I found myself saying “fuck” quite a bit for a while. I never really found a good groove or way to cope during this stage of labor as I had in my previous 2 labors.
Time passed and I felt a shift in the contractions as my body began to push, gently at first then stronger and stronger. I asked Clementine to get my mother in law Sigrid who was staying with us to be our son’s support person during our birth. We asked her to wake Odyn who had voiced his desire to be present for his Sister’s birth, even if it meant being awoken at night.
Sigrid and Odyn joined the 4 of us in the living room. My labor playlist singing along in the background, lights dim as the minutes passed towards 6.
The pushing began and I found a rhythm and went deep inside. Unaware of the happenings around me. I had learned with my other two births that my body pushes efficiently and as it tried to propel my daughter out I placed my hand on her head and quite literally pushed against it, stopping it from barreling out too quickly.
After allowing her head to move out and in, closer and closer to emergence several times I felt that it was time to allow its passage and so I pushed and her head emerged.
I felt relief and also knew I wasn’t done. She wriggled and turned and then another strong push came, along with half of her body, landing arms in the air, eyes open between my legs on the living room floor. Her cord was wrapped not around her neck, but behind it in such a way that it needed to be slipped over her head to allow the rest of her body to be born. I found I couldn’t reach her and unravel the cord myself. I asked Owyn to help me reach her, and so, together we lifted her up and I slipped the cord over her head which allowed the rest of her body to be born and I pulled her to my chest. She cried immediately and so did we. Tears of joy and relief fell as we held our baby girl, alive and well. Big brother and grandma by our sides. Clementine and Rickanna witnessing, holding space and documenting these once in a lifetime sacred moments. Our little girl’s first breathe. She was born at 5:59 am just less than 4 hours after her labor began, March 24th 2020.
Only minutes later I felt the urge to push out her placenta. I asked for the pie dish I had chosen to catch it. Holding my girl in my arms I moved onto my knees, hovering over the pie pan and with a small push the placenta easily slipped into the pan.
After a short time spent soaking in the moment on our living room floor I wanted to move to the bedroom. With the help of everyone I did just that. I held my baby girl and Owyn carried her placenta and helped me get situated in bed.
Once settled in bed the ladies gathered the cord burning supplies. And together with Sigrid, Clementine and Rickanna we had a sweet ceremony where I sang “We all come from the Goddess, and to her we shall return, like a drop of rain, flowing to the ocean.” Owyn took over videotaping and after several minutes the cord was severed. Baby girl remained calm and observant throughout. It was a very sweet and powerful ceremony with such strong and magical women by my side participating in the separation of baby girl from her placenta.
A little while later she latched for the first time, Odyn crawled into bed with us and gently caressed his sister. Owyn brought me freshly squeezed orange/grapefruit juice and we all reveled in the experience of this little souls birth. We began our life as a family of four.
After a week of getting to know our daughter and trying out different names, we settled on Charlow Eliana. Owyn loved the name Charlotte and I loved names like Wynslow, Harlow and Willow. And so we decided to put the two together and created Charlow (pronounced with a soft -ch- like in Charlotte). When she was born at sunrise after conception with the Summer Solstice we found ourselves looking for names that honored the sun. We both fell in love with the name Eliana which means “dawn, daughter of the sun” and even considered it for her first name during the first week of her life.
Charlow Eliana Faulkner, you have brought deep healing and joy to my heart and to our family. Thank you for being our daughter and for arriving with such magic strength and vitality.
We are so grateful for you, our little girl and look forward to the years to come, witnessing your growth and your personality blossom.
Clementine, this short film is truly a priceless gift you have given to me, and I will be forever grateful. When I asked you if you would be present for my little girl’s birth and capture the experience on film so that I could look back on it, I never imagined you would create something SO BEAUTIFUL!!! Soul Sister, I will forever hold you in my heart and I am grateful to know you will always hold my daughter in yours. Thank you for witnessing Charlow’s birth, her first breathe and for bringing such a calm, delicate and trusting presence to our birthing space.
